Wednesday, August 08, 2007

yeah yeah yeah

So why the fuck haven't I written in three months? Because I've been to two other countries and had other shit to do.

Any more questions?

My life is currently in shambles as I attempt to pick up the pieces I left strewn about before I jetted off to New Zealand and Fiji. I've been back for over a month and have accomplished: getting hammered, overdrafting, rediscovering my love of baking, drinking a lot, working occasionally, being on facebook, becoming drunk, rereading all of the Harry Potter books and sleeping.

Haven't kept up in the journal I brought with me to NZ, but really, what's the point? I remember it all anyway, right?


I might actually start doing this blog now that I have time to do stuff other than lay around and wait for the power to come back on after the storm last night.

I've made a few crafts since I've been back, mostly for Nate's birthday yesterday. I only finished two of them, out of five? Yeah, five. I couldn't remember.

I haven't eaten for real all day and it's now 12:24 am so I think I'm going to go eat anything that hasn't gone bad while the fridge was off for most of the morning.

I probably won't be back for awhile.

No really. Don't wait around.

OK bye.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

dolls: creepy or crafty?

While reading the second issue of Craft: Magazine, I came across an article about Marina Bychkova. She grew up in Siberia but went to art school in Canada. She creates these exquisite dolls made from porcelain and sews outfits for them. Most of the outfits are heavily beaded, and it's incredible how much detail she puts into them. She also challenges social constructions of gender and beauty, which I find very interesting. One of my favorite dolls is Lotus, a Chinese woman who practices foot-binding. Marina actually forms the feet as they would look from being bound, and it's really disturbing. Her outfit is so beautifully beaded, it's shocking to find those feet beneath the hem. I suggest you check her out.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

because no one seems to know

I work in a mail center, and it astounds me daily how little people know about mail and what to do with it. We've gotten packages with no name or department on them, and had to educate countless people on how to properly address a letter. So as a service to any of you out there who are clueless (like most of the people at my school), here are some instructions.

1. Don't address your letter with anything other than black or blue ink. This is a soft rule, but please avoid pinks, yellows, or other pastel colors. Almost all mail is run through an automatic machine, and if you want your letter to get there as fast as possible, make it easy for the machine to read it.

2. If you're writing to a place that gets a lot of mail, such as a college or university, address it to the person using their real name. We get a lot of cute nicknames that make it ten times harder to figure out who the hell it goes to. I know you want to be creative and make someone smile, but save it for the inside of the envelope.

3. Please, for the love of the USPS, leave a forwarding address. Also let them know that you're gone and want your mail. We had a lot of students who moved off campus that had their tax returns sent back because we didn't have addresses for them.

Later we'll talk about how to properly address an envelope, because a girl was just in here asking her friend how to do it. Yikes...

Friday, March 02, 2007

just insert shit about how i haven't posted in forever here

I am notoriously bad at finishing craft projects that I start (well, with myself at least). For instance, around June or July I started knitting a scarf with wool that I had purchased around 2004. I had bought a couple skeins, and I still have one left, along with another recently purchased one. I am now about to finish it, since I got off of work for BOTH of my jobs.

A day or two ago I was home alone, on my ADD medicine and cleaned my room for three hours. If you know me, you know I usually have the attention span of a gnat, and even less when it comes to cleaning my room. I usually find something interesting (a puzzle book, some crayons, a sparkly) and forget about organizing. But that day I was on a mission. I emptied the two huge plastic tubs that I had been throwing random shit in. I organized (sort of) my magazines. I threw most of my clean clothes in a corner in the closet. But all in all the look of my room has improved.

My boss got me a little page-a-day calendar that displays a work of art by an artist who is trying to be discovered or whatever. One of the first pieces was done by Pee Monster. Yep, PEE MONSTER. Who decides that THAT is a good pseudonym? That'd be like naming yourself Shit Monkey or Butt Doodle. Not something I'd want to be associated with. But whatevs.

I have now grown bored with this post. Goodbye.

Friday, January 05, 2007

best spam ever

"your blowjob is not your only sex."

Thursday, December 28, 2006

oh my good golly

It's been over a week. I really hate the holidays.

I spent most of the weekend of Christmas pissed off, because Nate wouldn't come over to hang out with my family. I ended up yelling at my mom in the middle of a Sam's Club. THAT was awkward. But things have smoothed out, and I am getting ready for NEW YEAR'S EVE.

It will involve copious amounts of Carlo Rossi wine and ridiculous outfits. Need I say more?

Wednesday, December 20, 2006


It seems that no matter where I go, I can't avoid some sort of drama.

For instance, the weekend of December 9th looked to be a fun one. It was a few days after my birthday, and Nate and his roommates were planning a holiday party. That all looked fine and dandy, until (and I'm not absolutely positive about this) Nate's roommate's girlfriend told Nate's other roommate that, quote "she was nuts and her boyfriend was a moron for putting up with her."


I know may totally sound like something I would say, but I've never actually expressed that sentiment. But who hasn't said that girl is crazy? Who hasn't said ANY girl is crazy? And the fact that said roommate's girlfriend neglected to add that it was HER BOYFRIEND who first uttered the sentiment about other roommate's boyfriend being a saint was a bit shady. I know this may all sound confusing, but I'm trying to maintain some sort of anonymity for those who might read this and want to say something to someone about something.

So other roommate called me out about it and I explained what I had meant about it. She was under a lot of stress about this holiday party (this was a few hours before it happened) and kind of tore into me. Told me I didn't act like an adult, that I wasn't as welcome in the apartment as I thought I was, and that my boyfriend surely puts up with more shit from me than her boyfriend does with her.


I tried to be nice, but I also have my limits. One thing she did recently, that had to do with the whole "not being welcome" thing, was call Nate when I had my Spanish homework out on the table and even though I was five feet away the entire time, she couldn't politely ask me to move my things so she could eat lunch out there. Now, if that isn't acting like an adult, I don't know what is! So I shot back with some comments of my own, and at the time I was really angry about the fact that I had been ambushed. Thanks to so-and-so's girlfriend stirring things up, everyone was on edge. This altercation lead to more altercations between Nate, his roommate and this other girl roommate. She yelled and cried and blamed a lot of things on other people. Which isn't fair, since this entire party was her idea and she didn't ask for help until the last minute.

She's a very petty person, and I feel bad for her about that. When the subject of my being underage was brought up, she said I could only drink if my parents were there. So instead of handing me an invitation already filled out, she handed me a blank one to fill out myself. This doesn't seem overtly rude (especially if you're a guy) but some of you will understand this is a snub. Eek!

I could write and write about all the things she does that piss me off but instead I'm going to go back to work and earn a lot of money and countdown the days until Nate moves out of that apartment.

Monday, December 18, 2006

holy crapoly

This isn't the first time that I've discovered not blogging/journaling will lead to long periods of silence. Not that anyone cares what I've been up to. But I like to post my idiotic thoughts for someone else to read.

Like the fact that there might not be anything in the world I hate more than the computer animated robot football player on Fox. I'm forced to watch many football games on Sunday, and when that fucking robot comes on and I see him run in place very quickly then "shake it off," I want to throw my wings at the other people watching football.

I've forgotten how hard it is to be at work for longer than three hours. Both of my jobs are broken up into small, manageable pieces. But now that class is out and the office is moving, I'm going to be working hella for the next couple of weeks. There's one week where I will be in class 9-12 then at work 12:30-7. You probably won't want to talk to me during that week.

Enough for now, I should check some messages.

Monday, December 04, 2006

ok, hold on.

I am going to say something. Something that you might think is a little... "out there." But I have to say it. Events of this morning REQUIRE me to say it.

Ok, here goes...

I would rather see two attractive people make out than two unattractive people.

There. Whew. That's a load off my chest.

Two weirdos were in the cafe today, both sitting on one chair and snuggling and kissing and generally grossing out the rest of the student body. This is unacceptable.

Have some decency!

Thursday, November 30, 2006